Survival

I was one of those people, you know the ones. They swear their lives won't dramatically change when children come along. I envisioned strolling through shops in trendy clothes pushing a pram with two gorgeous smiling children.

I was wrong.

Lately I spend my days just getting by. The business of training little babies so that they grow into responsible adults is a little trickier than I initially anticipated.

Gremlin is still not toilet trained, however he does helpfully inform us that he's wet while he pees all over the floor. You know those clever mothers who inform you that they taught their child to go to toilet in only a week, well they can have Gremlin. After literally months of successfully doing his morning poo on the toilet, Gremlin has decided that this was a privilege that we only occasionally deserve. So we are back to waking up at 5am with a lovely warm stinking poo waiting for us. Actually, let's face it, it's me that's up at 5am changing nappies as my husband isn't really conscious until after two coffees.

Chicken has cut her first two teeth in the past week. YAY! Does this mean the end of acidic burning pee which results in nappy rash that looks like something out of a horror movie? No, of course not. Two more teeth are looming, I can see them straining at the gums, threatening me.

And I'm tired. In an attempt to prove I still have a life, I went to a friend's house for a girls night on Saturday and dragged myself home at 2am-ish, didn't get to sleep until 3ish and then was woken at 5. I did have a decent night's sleep last night but it wasn't enough.

When did I get old?