Friday, September 27, 2013

Barbies and Beefs

As you may have figured out, I am trying yet again to eat healthier and get my butt back to the gym.

The first hurdle I am trying to get over is the healthy eating thing. I am attempting to copy my daughter's style and snacking on carrots etc. but sometimes I just crave chocolate, what's a girl to do? At the moment I am trying just not to buy chocolate, this plans seems to be working... so far.

My next hurdle is the gym. I have joined a local 24hr gym so that I can go whenever I can organise it, even if it means going after dinner when the kids are asleep, or whenever I can get a babysitter/hubby to watch the kids. Because of the odd times I attend the gym, I've begun to notice a trend in the other clientèle, and have created a little dictionary for you:

Beefs – These guys are your body builders, or simply guys who like the muscley look. Beefs are quite large, they tend to have biceps so large they aren't actually hold their arms at their sides, giving the impression of far too many steroids. They are found at all hours of the day or night. They are usually found in pairs in the evenings and they “spot” each other.

Spotting – When one Beef makes jokes at the expense of another Beef who is lifting weights.

Big Beauties – Generally women, but occasionally men, who for whatever reason are overweight. They are usually accompanied by a personal trainer ( I need me one of those). They work their butts off and you can't help but be proud of them. They are usually seen at crazy hours of the morning, because this is apparently the only time the personal trainers are available.

Barbies – Gorgeous stick figures with hair extensions. These women don't need to attend the gym for fitness reasons but instead use the time to socialise with their friends while hogging the treadmills and flirting with Beefs who probably couldn't satisfy them anyway due the affect of steroids on their manhoods. The gym manager actually has a jar of lollies on hand to help revive Barbies who decide to work out but haven't eaten anything all day.

The Useless Hour – 6pm-ish – This is the time of day when everyone finishes work, ditches office attire and dons their exercise gear and heads to the gym leaving me no weight machines, treadmills or any other equipment to exercise on. :(

The Best Time – 2pm-ish – Most people are at work (except for the occasional Beef) so the machines are usually free. Plus I can usually hide in the corner and not stress about someone seeing me and laughing at how everything wobbles when I run (No-one actually does this, but I am paranoid).

Me - Really needs to actually attend the gym more and exercise rather than sit on my butt on the couch and blog about it