Getting Things Done

Okay, haven't posted in ages, been busy, nothing too special, just normal busy. Oh and I did end up shaving my head. Thanks so much to those who sponsored me for the World's Greatest Shave!

Today I went a little crazy.

• I made pancakes for breakfast
• Hubby and I took the kiddies to swimming lessons
• Voted
• Tried unsuccessfully to get the kiddies to take a nap
• Let W@dsy have the afternoon off
• Took the kiddies to the zoo (yay for yearly passes)
• Kiddies then decided to nap in the car afterwards, the cheeky munchkins
• Took the kiddies shopping for those things you always seem to need and never get like cutlery drainers and car mats, oh and I got 2 seasons of Sherlock Holmes, I think I've got a a crush on Benedict Cumberbatch.
• Chicken went to the toilet at the shops and did a wee! That's the second time this week!
• Got home and stuck the kiddies in front of a DVD with W@dsy
• Removed all rubbish, toys, dodgy old car seat covers etc from the inside of the car, vacuumed and scrubbed the interior clean, put on new car seat covers and hung "new car smell" air freshener in the car. (BTW I am stoked they have "new car smell" now I can pretend my clean car is new, at least the interior looks good, might have to try getting to the outside soon)
• Now time for a bath and another Vanilla Coke Zero

Phew, it's a good thing I only go crazy like this every now and then. 

The Song

Gremlin is fairly smart, he loves music and memorises songs very quickly. So when he made up his own song, I should have been proud right? Not really. His song had just one lyric, "Penis!" Yup, he wrote the Penis Song. My son, like most boys is very interested in his penis. In fact, he keeps asking me what happened to mine... Oh and he's started peeing standing up. I am actually rather proud of this one, he actually gets it all in the bowl which is pretty amazing considering his genreal lack of co-ordination.

Just when I thought it was over...

I feel I can offically call Gremlin toilet trained. He wears undies all day every day including naps. He is even dry at night about a third of the time. Sure, there is the occasional accident, but that seems to be the exception.

But then the move happened.

W@dsy and I were glad, at first, Chicken seemed ready for the move from Baby Room to Toddler Room at day care. She gets along great with the bigger kids and seems to really enjoy the games, songs and craft at the more advanced level. She comes home each day exhausted though, but I kind of expected that.

What I didn't expect was that she would decide that she was now big enough, big enough for toilet training that is. She has started removing her clothing (specifically pants) at random intervals during the day, and last night she removed her nappy and slept. God was good to me this morning, there was no poo. The bed and sheets were soaked, but thankfully no poo.

I discussed this situation with day care, they suggested that the best thing was probably to toilet train her so that at least she knows what is supposed to happen.

I don't think I can cope. It took a year and half of toilet training to get Gremlin toilet trained, and now it appears it's Chicken's turn. I may cry. I will definately pray for a quicker and easier toilet training.

As much as I look forward to a day without nappies, I would also like to have a day when I don't have to clean up "accidents" too.

3 Reasons I Hate Toilet Training

Reason 1. The Walk of Shame

You know what I mean, that shame faced walk up to the nearest shop person. You have to explain your embarassing situation. Your darling child has just peed on their floor. Then you offer to clean it up but they refuse to let you. And you walk slowing away, feeling awful because your terrible skills as a parents made your kid pee out in public.

Reason 2. The Ability but not the Will

Gremlin has just displayed an amazing skill, one that every boy seems to learn early. He can fart on command. he can't manage to tell me he needs to go to the toilet, ever, but he has enough control to FART ON COMMAND!

Reason 3. The Guilt

That knowledge that if you were just home more, if you were more patient, more attenitve, more consistent. you could get that child toilet trained. But you are just too darned busy.

If I keep this up, he'll probably be toilet trained before he goes to uni, what do you think?

Blonde

After getting bored with having mum hair again, I decided to go blonde.

I have tried the blonde thing before, and I must say that this is the most successful it's been. As I am not a millionare I almost always do my own hair dyeing. However this time I got one of my girlfriends to help.

We started here.

First step was bleaching my hair within an inch of its life. This resulted in what Gremlin called, "Yellow Mummy"

Then I went to the shops and bought some blonde dye you even out the colour and make it less yellow. And this was the result.

Ta Da!

So what do you guys think? Hot or Not?

Now for the real question, do blondes have more fun? Well, Gremlin has now gone 2 days without wetting his pants! I call that fun, but I'm not really sure that my new hair had anything to do with it.

Gremlin's Wisdom for the Day

Gremlin was sitting on the loo. I was frustrated because it was way too early to care about toilet training, but I could hardly get mad when he did the right thing by asking to go to the toilet.

Gremlin: Poo Mummy!
Me: Yes, darling
Gremlin: Poo! Yucky!
Me: Yes..
Gremlin: Don't eat it!

At this point I cracked up, all thoughts of early morning grumpiness went away. I love my son and the crazy thing he comes up with.

Toilet Training Rant

I am so sick of toilet training it is not funny.

I have tried everything I can think of and it hasn't worked, if someone else tells me to be patient I may just punch them.

I have tried:

• letting him run around in undies all day (he just wees on the floor)
• making him drink heaps of water (he just wees on the floor)
• letting him run around naked on the grass (he waits until we are inside and wees on the floor)
• buying a potty (he scoots around the house in it like a car but doesn't wee)
• getting a singing potty (he just plays with it, no wees. And I want to kill the stupid thing)
• buying a kiddie seat for the toilet (he just removes it and replaces it, over and over again)
• giving rewards and cheers for successful trips to the toilet (he would get stickers or stamps but he needs to actually do something first)
• singing songs to him so he'll relax and go (he waits until we are off the toilet and wees on the floor)
• allow him to close the door so he has privacy (he just shoves an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet)
• stop trying, wait a few months until the girls at daycare insist that he is totally ready (he occasionally goes to the toilet for them but never for me, the bastard!)

Training and Washing

I wish kids were programmable. It would be cool if you could just install a toilet training program when they are ready and they would be toilet trained.

Gremlin has managed to occasionally go to the toilet since before Chicken was born (she's now 9 months) but for some reason he decided to stop. So I have decided to spend the next couple of days convincing him that being toilet trained is the best thing ever. After an entire day of Gremlin in undies, he successfully managed to urinate in the toilet twice. I know I should be proud and grateful etc. but I'm not. If he can get there sometimes then why can't he get there every time? Surely it's less uncomfortable for him to go to the toilet than to wet himself? But apparently I'm supposed just smile, tell him it's okay and mop up the wee again. All I can say is that I am impossibly grateful for the person who invented the washing machine!

Yes my new washing machine arrived today and it's beautiful. I've probably set women's rights back several decades by saying that but who cares?

Anyways, it's shiny, it's new and most importantly it's huge! Hopefully this means I can wash more clothes at one time. But part of me thinks my laundry pile will simply grow to compensate for the new washing machine size. Oooh, my lovely new machine is chirping at me to let me know it has finished, I had better attend to that.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's sequel, My New Dryer. The clever delivery man forgot to put my dryer on the truck today, so he'll drop it around tomorrow. Gee, my life is so interesting.

Survival

I was one of those people, you know the ones. They swear their lives won't dramatically change when children come along. I envisioned strolling through shops in trendy clothes pushing a pram with two gorgeous smiling children.

I was wrong.

Lately I spend my days just getting by. The business of training little babies so that they grow into responsible adults is a little trickier than I initially anticipated.

Gremlin is still not toilet trained, however he does helpfully inform us that he's wet while he pees all over the floor. You know those clever mothers who inform you that they taught their child to go to toilet in only a week, well they can have Gremlin. After literally months of successfully doing his morning poo on the toilet, Gremlin has decided that this was a privilege that we only occasionally deserve. So we are back to waking up at 5am with a lovely warm stinking poo waiting for us. Actually, let's face it, it's me that's up at 5am changing nappies as my husband isn't really conscious until after two coffees.

Chicken has cut her first two teeth in the past week. YAY! Does this mean the end of acidic burning pee which results in nappy rash that looks like something out of a horror movie? No, of course not. Two more teeth are looming, I can see them straining at the gums, threatening me.

And I'm tired. In an attempt to prove I still have a life, I went to a friend's house for a girls night on Saturday and dragged myself home at 2am-ish, didn't get to sleep until 3ish and then was woken at 5. I did have a decent night's sleep last night but it wasn't enough.

When did I get old?