Toilet Training Rant

I am so sick of toilet training it is not funny.

I have tried everything I can think of and it hasn't worked, if someone else tells me to be patient I may just punch them.

I have tried:

• letting him run around in undies all day (he just wees on the floor)
• making him drink heaps of water (he just wees on the floor)
• letting him run around naked on the grass (he waits until we are inside and wees on the floor)
• buying a potty (he scoots around the house in it like a car but doesn't wee)
• getting a singing potty (he just plays with it, no wees. And I want to kill the stupid thing)
• buying a kiddie seat for the toilet (he just removes it and replaces it, over and over again)
• giving rewards and cheers for successful trips to the toilet (he would get stickers or stamps but he needs to actually do something first)
• singing songs to him so he'll relax and go (he waits until we are off the toilet and wees on the floor)
• allow him to close the door so he has privacy (he just shoves an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet)
• stop trying, wait a few months until the girls at daycare insist that he is totally ready (he occasionally goes to the toilet for them but never for me, the bastard!)

The Hunt

It is time. Time when my part-time job will no longer do, it's time for... a full time job.

Now I have to scour the papers and apply apply apply. I'm praying to find a job closer to home and something that pays enough so that it's worth it. At least I have a good excuse for getting my hair cut properly and to spend a little money on pretty office type clothing.

I really hate job-hunting. It makes you feel quite worthless when you get rejection after rejection. There really isn't a lot of hope out there for someone like me. Why? Because I am old enough to know what I'm doing and won't take crap, which annoys those who like to boss people around and pay people minimum wage. And I am too young to have that "years of experience" thing under my belt. But I do it, because lets face it, I would like to be able to afford nice things once and a while.

Well, here I go.

The Puppy

Nope I did not go out and buy puppy. I don't need to. I have Chicken.

Here are the things my little has in common with a puppy:

1. If she's just had a bath, she'll somehow manage to find something dirty to roll in.
2. She hangs around under her brother's chair to catch falling food scraps, even though you just feed her.
3. She tests out her teeth on everything she can find.
4. When you come home from a day at work, she greets you by toddling over and trying to climb up your leg.
5. When you think you have finally cleaned up the last of the poop, she poops again.

Though for some bizarre reason I am considering buying the kids a fish...

Another Crafty Venture

I finally did it! W@dsy had needed a new wallet for ages so I finally made one for him. Black denim with silver lining.

I didn't have a pattern or anything so I just kinda muddled through and W@dsy melted the lining onto the denim when he ironed on the dragon transfer but I think it turned out alright. I'm considering cutting up a few clothes I don't wear and using the fabric to make myself a new wallet. Hmmm, now to find the time....

P.S. My new dryer arrived late the day after the washing machine, it's great! I no longer have lint flying around the laundry!

Training and Washing

I wish kids were programmable. It would be cool if you could just install a toilet training program when they are ready and they would be toilet trained.

Gremlin has managed to occasionally go to the toilet since before Chicken was born (she's now 9 months) but for some reason he decided to stop. So I have decided to spend the next couple of days convincing him that being toilet trained is the best thing ever. After an entire day of Gremlin in undies, he successfully managed to urinate in the toilet twice. I know I should be proud and grateful etc. but I'm not. If he can get there sometimes then why can't he get there every time? Surely it's less uncomfortable for him to go to the toilet than to wet himself? But apparently I'm supposed just smile, tell him it's okay and mop up the wee again. All I can say is that I am impossibly grateful for the person who invented the washing machine!

Yes my new washing machine arrived today and it's beautiful. I've probably set women's rights back several decades by saying that but who cares?

Anyways, it's shiny, it's new and most importantly it's huge! Hopefully this means I can wash more clothes at one time. But part of me thinks my laundry pile will simply grow to compensate for the new washing machine size. Oooh, my lovely new machine is chirping at me to let me know it has finished, I had better attend to that.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's sequel, My New Dryer. The clever delivery man forgot to put my dryer on the truck today, so he'll drop it around tomorrow. Gee, my life is so interesting.

Mmmm Cookies!

I am attempting a new recipe, Chocolate Chip Crunch Cookies. I got the recipe from "Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder" by Joanne Fluke. It's a fun book, pretty standard murder mystery chick lit, but it has dessert recipes!

I have discovered that having a Kindle is dangerous (a Kindle is an ebook reader). It's too easy to buy books! And they are heaps cheaper than buying paperbacks. Although clearly, women who are too ashamed to buy dodgy romance novels in a bookstore, buy them on their ebook readers. How do I know this? Because whenever I look on the bestseller list on Amazon Kindle books, I can't find any good books because the list is crowded with romance novels.

Ooh better go and finish baking cookies.

Darn Washing Machine

In some ways I hate the computerization of appliances, and right now, I really hate it. The pipe where the water goes into our washing machine came out. This would normally not be a huge problem, except that the water that went everywhere fried the circuits in the washing machine. Now I have to buy a new one! Grrr. Now I am on day 3 of dead washing machine and have a HUGE pile of laundry to be washed. I'll probably spend my spare time (ha) in the next few days visiting family and stealing the use of their washing machine. I think it's time we all became nudists, that way there would be less washing.

Sick, Sick, Sick

We are all sick, W@dsy, Gremlin, Chicken and me. Coughing, running noses and headaches. So why am I the only one who is awake at 1:20am? For some reason, my coughs are triggered by me putting my head down on the pillow. This will make this the thrid bad night sleep in a row. I guess I'll just have to try and sleep sitting up on the sofa again. Unfortunately this only works if I don't slump too much, or I start coughing again. Grrr. I miss sleep. Can I have some sleep?